Funny Poems, Humorous Poetry

Crazy

Cazy?
I was crazy once.
they locked me in a LOONEY bin.
I died.
They burried me.
There were worms.
They tickled.
They nearly drove me crazy.
Crazy?
I was crazy once.
They locked me in a LOONEY bin…….

This poem was written/submitted by Nancy Brar.

Driver seat

I wanted to love you,
But I was just too scared.
Haunted by the past,
That always seemed to reappear.

I tried my best to run and hide,
But I just couldn’t get you off my mind.
Should I give love a second chance?
Or am I just wasting my time?

You promised you were different,
But so did the rest.
Then you looked into my eyes,
And I knew you had passed the test.

So I took a chance,
and fell deeply in love.
Maybe this is what I’ve been looking for,
That special kind of love from above.

God, how can this be true?
Everything is happening so fast.
But something keeps telling me,
I’ve found true love at last.

Funny Love Poem – Explain Yourself

Hey there little thing
The phone is about to ring
Only one voice will be heard
And that’ll be your king

For once I was smart
Couldn’t fail my part
I got you a special gift
Not messing with your heart

A movie just came out
I have no idea what it’s about
Maybe we should check tonight
Since the idea is not in doubt

I sound like a Backstreet boy
Good thing I’m full of joy
You were found in bed last night
With a professor named Roy

Now explain yourself!

Funny Love Poem – YOU MAKE ME SMILE

when you stay with me
YOU MAKE ME SMILE
when yiou laugh with me
YOU MAKE ME SMILE
when you talk to me
YOU MAKE ME SMILE
when you walk with me
YOU MAKE ME SMILE
when you …………
……………………..
……………………..
leave me
YOU MAKE ME DIE
when you laugh at me
YOU MAKE ME CRY
when you ignore me
YOU MAKE ME MAD
when you ditch me
YOU MAKE ME BAD
and finally when you ….
………………………….
………………………..
wanna get rid of me
You just Can’t Imagine That

I Am Sorry world

I’m sorry world
For letting you down
I’m sorry world
For being a clown
I’m sorry world
For making you tic
I’m sorry world
For being a dick
I’m sorry world
For crying
I really should be trying
Thank you world
For not giving up hope
Just don’t send me any soap..

This poem was written/submitted by Funny Girl.

I love them both

I love them both, can’t have them both.
It’s tearing me apart!
My former joy and present boy:
Both have got my heart.

I have to choose, so I must lose
Someone I really love.
It feels like dirt that I must hurt
A guy that I dream of.

Why this must be I cannot see;
I only know I must.
Each might endure, for I am sure
That this is love, not lust.

I weep and wail to no avail;
I can’t say no to either.
But if I can’t tell what I want,
Could that mean I want neither?

I want you

What I have to say is straight from the heart

You may not have known it yet

But i have loved you from the start

From the moment our eyes first met

I wanted to get to know you

Please believe everything I say

These feelings are so true

I hope you feel the same way

It’s time to make it official

Let’s be together

I don’t know how far we’ll go

But I hope it last forever.

Kiss me baby

Kisses blown are kisses wasted…..
A kiss isn’t a kiss unless it’s tasted…..
Kisses spread germs and germs are hated….
So Kiss me baby I’m vacinnated!

This poem was written/submitted by Nancy Brar.

Of Course I Love You

How can you doubt that I love you?
Didn’t I marry you, eh?
And though I don’t say it too often,
I show it in all sorts of ways.

I’d take you out dining and dancing…
Can you find me a mountain to climb?
An ocean to cross? A boulder to toss?
I’d do them if I had the time.

I’d give you the shirt off me back, love,
I’d give you me last pair of socks;
And last time we went into town, love,
Didn’t I buy you a frock?

I let you go home nice and early,
So you have the time to cook tea;
Remember that sometimes on Sundays
I give you the afternoon free.

I tell you when you’re being bitchy,
I notice when you’re getting fat;
I give you free rein in my tool shed,
I let you wear my fav’rite hat.

So next time you’re thinkin’ of leaving,
Remember that I think yer great;
And though there are times when yer grumpy…
Fair dinkum, yer still me best mate.

Who else would I trust with the cheque book?
And who else knows just what I like?
And when there are paddocks to muster
Who else but you borrows my bike?

I’ll eat humble pie if I have to,
I’ll say that I’ve been a right jerk,
I’ll tell you I love you; I’ve done it: okay?
Now bloody-well come back to work.

Teddy

Mom, no!
You can’t do this!
I can’t let Teddy go!

He’s always been in my room,
And now you think ‘it’ takes up too much space?
In that case,
I don’t want to grow up.

My toy cars went to little brother
Little sister took my dolls
It’s been so long since I’ve lost
The liberty to scribble on walls

Mom, don’t remind me again
I know I’ve turned sixteen
But you must understand I’ve not ‘grown up’
I feel like a baby-teen
I have developed a liking
For little dresses and clutch bags
And for everything girle, pink and cute
But I haven’t lost my love for Teddy
And you say it doesn’t suit!

I want hair straighteners, nose rings,
And the Lakme LipShine Gloss
But I want to also go to the fair
And for the helicopter ride
And I don’t want to give up candy floss
I want that balloon that flies up in the air
Or at least the heart shaped one
I want to be a super cool teen
And a sensible young girl
But not at the cost of kiddish crazy fun!

Mom, I’m a little girl,
And that’s how I like to be
Please Mom, please
Don’t send Teddy…

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